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Dear FutureMe, better be skinny. back in low 120's at the highest. weak body. i want to collapse on the ground and need to be carried away i want people to look at me and say, what happened? i want them to see me and hurt inside, feel bad for me care for me beg me to eat i want to see pain in their eyes when they look at my fragile body beg me to eat I want to be a fragile, delicate outline of a person sunken cheeks, pointy hip bones blow me over i never want to put food in my mouth again never want to contaminate my body again i want to be empty pure clean I want to be so weak i need help, i want people to care for me and to help me to see how much pain i am in and for them to want nothing more than to help me to get me back to what i once was but i never want to go back to her i want to take two steps forward, three back i ever want them to leave my side, never give up on me even though there will be no hope i will know, and they will know, that nothing can be done. I will fall on the ground and they will have to scoop me up, carry me away and hold me until i wake up.