My heart hurts God

Dear God, I don't know what to do. I'm lost, i'm hurting. My chest hurts. My heart hurts. how badly and deeply and passionately i want a job. Not just any job but the job i crave for the most. My heart hurts. I'm crying it hurts so bad. Doesn't anybody see how well i can perform. The chances i've been given, i feel like they were taken away from me too soon. I was given the chance and i guess that i've blown it but i don't know how and why i would do a stupid thing like that. While others are excelling i am stationary. Yes i i can boast that i came out top in university studies and that i have proven something to those who thought i would be a failure in education that im not but what is this to me? What i what most in the world, what my heart has been craving for for many years now has not come. It has presented itself to me and many times dangled itself in my face, enticing me and making me believe that it would finally come to pass all this has martieralised to nothing. I don't know what to do. I'm stuck. On the outside i may not seem jealous of my peers who are moving far ahead of me in this life. advancing in there careers. Always working, making contacts and enjoying what they do while reaping the rewards for it but inside it hurts me. It hurts my heart. It hurts so bad. And it wont stop hurting. Everyday i wake up at stupid o'clock and don't sleep till 5/6 even 7 in the morning. The same old routine with no fulfilment. Living this life as a scrounger. I'm stuck. I'm stuck and i feel totally alone on this earth. Although i know God has sent people to me. Helpers'. Guides. I still feel like this. I know i need to have more faith. I must have more faith. More belief. God help me to have more faith. Help me to have more faith. Help me to have more faith. My heart hurts oh God. Help me to have more faith. Help me Help me to stop blowing oppotunites i am given in this life wherater they be work or social. Help me to grow and mature in my faith and in life. The recent rejection has been tough. Extremely tough. And the news received from colleagues has hurt me. I am gueniully happy for them all but i am also hurting that i have yet to get my foot fully into the door. I continue to trust You God and will always do so no matter what as i know you have a way for me. I know that you have a path for me God and i will follow it no matter where it leads me. I put me trust in You. I give You my life. I ask that you heal my heart. Heal me. I pray that the current endeavours i am making comes out in good favour God. Thank you Thank you Thank you Amen