2 years ago

Dear FutureMe, I'm writing this on january 5th, 2007 As of this time you've had a falling out with InLv very recently and left the list. You're married to Dan. We're having serious problems in the bedroom resulting in sex therapy sessions and zero intimacy. We still share affection but not nearly enough. It's probably your biggest concern right now. Other concerns are facing the tax man, getting dan imported, and the usual worry about whether the income will match the needs. Thus far it has, so that last concern is more worry than anything. Current plusses. Well you've got that nifty tablet pc, that equally nifty audiovox ppc. Dan loves you, for sure. Neither of us is drinking, smoking or doing drugs. It would seem hardest on me, not doing pot, but my lungs are kinda iffy. Health concerns: I'm still too fat at 182# and counting. My lungs get congested easily and I cough regularily. My muscles ache with simple tasks, as though they'd been asked to do something hard. I havent' told anyone because it seems like hypochondria or whining. I worry maybe it's ust that I've not worked hard enough and it's my fault. Or maybe it's just my age catching up. Or bad diet. but I worry that something more serious is building. The parrot Petey is being very nice lately. I'm enjoying that. Current pets: Henry and Harriet canany, ma and paw twit and 8 offspring (sales are slumping on those) Zelia and Zebediah finchley, Paco Pete Soto, Fredrique Angelica Dumptruck, Flora Fiorinella Fehereghyazi, Tobi Anatoli Tiger and, of course, Sara Noelle Mackenzie. We're hoping to make enough money for a new mattress, stairs to the attic, pay off the 9400 credit card debt, pay off the 1200 owing on the laptop, pay the govt. it's tax money, buy a flat panel tv or projector, a wii system, countless other petty things. We also want to expand the house and build a large garage. I don't think we can do it all but I"ll settle for some. Dan likes to be optimistic. I find that too easily disappointed and I'd rather not wish for things than be disappointed. I don't take disappointment as well as I handle despair. I'm still struggling to accept my place in the world. I realize I'm doing pretty good even if not what I wanted or expected. I feel isolated and rejected by my social world. I wish I'd been more welcomed in general. I'm involved somewhat in Youtube and still have my 3d world though I do little there. I find myself also encountering regrets about what didn't happen in my life and that I'm no longer young enough to think they might still, like a singing career. I fight those by reminding myself not to rue what I haven't got at the expense of what I have. So it's been two years and here you are. I hope life is at least the same if it hasn't gotten better. I hope your health got better, if not, I apologize for not trying harder and suggest you seek outside help somehow. personal trainer maybe? I don't know. I'd like to find someone now if I only knew where to turn and how to make that happen. Also, remember to try and find more excuses to laugh, and ignore excuses to cry, because you're entirely too prone to worry. Oh, and I love you now too. Really. The world out there might not see it, but you're a really worthwhile person. You've worked hard to be one, and your work has not been in vain. You care deeply, you love truthfully, you share freely. The many flaws you have are natural side effects of being alive. Chew on them but don't worry at them. Some will go away, others will not, that's natural too. I wish we could do this backwards, I could sure use some future wisdom and reassurance.