I hope you are doing better than me.

Dear FutureMe, Hey man, I’m in KINE 412, Motor Control class right now. It goes from 9:00-9:50 AM MWF. I’ve been feeling pretty shitty lately…been binging 1-2 times per week. Sometimes, I feel so bad---it’s so bad to the point where I think about suicide a lot…how I’d do it, would it hurt, would I fail, and who would care. I’d probably never go through with it though; I’m too much of a pussy. I wonder how you are doing. I really hope you have overcome binge eating disorder. That has ruined the fuck out of my life the last three years. I can’t even explain… What are you doing? Podiatric school? Have a job? Have a girlfriend yet? Still watch too much TV? Still watch too much anime? You still fuckin trying to get those abs? I would hope to achieve that soon and then you wouldn’t have to worry about it. So…5 years…you are 25. Wow! If you have your own place, is it everything you wanted? Do you like life? Right now, I am pretty fucking miserable. Have you come clean to Mama about not believing in God? Or maybe you found God! I really doubt that though. How’s your Vietnamese. I’d hope to be fluent in five years. How many years did you end up going to Huong Vuong classes for? Did you ever find that “thing” that you have a passion for? I’ve yet to find it; honestly, I don’t think there is such a thing. Life has been such a grind for me dude. Right now, this is what I want in five years. I don’t think it’s too much to ask: •Have abs. Be lean. I feel that when I look good, life is so much better. •Be in graduate school or have a job. Honestly, I don’t really care right now. Of course, I want to be able to have the money to buy things I want. But, seriously though. I am not that expensive. •Know Vietnamese. That’s all really. Oh, do you want kids? Do you have kids?!? Right now, I do not ever want to have kids. They’d be such a big investment of not only money but also time. Once I have kids, they become my life. I don’t want that. Sure, they’d be cute and stuff…but dude: I (think I) know that it will get old fast. Also, think of all the shit you’ve been through and all the shit your parents have put you through (even though they love you). Do you really want that for your kid? I don’t. Anyway, friend, that’s all I’m gonna write. I know I hate reading I hope life is better for you than it is for me. Your past self, M