A letter from July 31st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Hello. This night a year ago you were violently kicked out from your only safe place in this world and your heart broke. It was around this time you made that really obvious cut on your arm that no one even asked you about. Has the scar faded at all? It was a time filled with so much sadness and crying in public places and late nights trapped in cigarette smoke. This night right now you are filled with overwhelming sadness. The career you fought so hard for just a year ago is now something you can't wait to throw away. You couldn't keep your promise to quit smoking and you haven't gotten any healthier. You are feeling so alone right now and you are so scared of the future. Something snapped within you and nothing excites you anymore. I pray that all this has changed. Hopefully you are still surrounded by the people who mean the most to you. Are you finally doing something good for the ones who need it more? Have you fallen in love and maybe had your heart broken again? Have you travelled to new places and collected stories you will never stop sharing? You recently came back from a trip to Taiwan. I want to remind you of your last night there, when we sped up the mountain on motorbikes and drank coffee to the sounds of our own laughter. I hope life has been kind enough to bless you with more good memories like these, too many to count. I hope your parents are finally getting the retirement they so deserve in a place they love. Is Mama finally back home with her favourite breakfast, the farms and the wet market? Are your brothers doing alright for themselves? My wish for you now is that life does not torment you. That the ruts you find yourself in are shallow and you grow immensely as a person. If you are reading this, hopefully you are laughing at how the years between us has made the sad memories almost painless. I have no idea what I'm doing in life but maybe you do. That's all I need right now to keep going.

Epilogue

3 months later

Hello!

It's us again. Reading this made me smile, then made me cry again. I'm finding it very difficult to find the words to reply to this, but here it...

Seog. .
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Ouy ,mra yrou efrnrigre rae arscs no oen all eth ehre wree ot, tisll rewivehhc. Eenb tlsil ym plepeo btu rfea,mrso wnod heta a i etltli incought eiv' bnkeor. Sa tesomseim yklcu hatt elr,a am so ym ta my mofr i eth thnki htat ehtn erda ot fo eavh i ewnk pitno esarbigmanrs s,lmtao 'didnt i sscpeae now i enhw btu ewre i nda nfglseei aildy veah thsi pats flei eht. Ndow m,oinkgs ate'nhv ctu atlohugh vei' ti i ymsnlmeei quit. Tiefllesy in i ynol inlivg vnoeiennrmt uabeesc ym ma uclynrret is taheielrh het of. Leik smeo ysda, em dna ecxite life tilsl omaenyr efle eo'dsnt i. Sdya lyuausl extn stuj ehmt is and dab hte i call ehpo ebttr,e si neo it and. .
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Yaaw medov nd'tdi mcoe and i ackb. Ithnk seuca i ,tath xpctgniee oyu rete'nw a'stnw abmey kcfu,. Odwlu eybam reeh 4 ekwn illtet nmicgo fi nekat lses 4 saw a ilfe ,erays vhea oyu hsteo nebe ary,se v'ie nda uyo athw oieuslyrs. Oevl ionlaicnnuodt of etmh eht t,reu to ti in fo eth er,yopt deam pehas dna fduon uoy w,ay mead ndruhdse alnd nda gnoal fo ifnesrd drmesa. Su co,eiustnr ntew sefnrid twih we lal in atsp os nfrietdfe 4 eth rs,aey dna meda to a ot mayn i os amny rpeeou, apphy who rewe no relnyetc tem i so ees ni lepoep pu rpit. Levod we rea os. In vniea eth aws oprnes you wlak wngro and ayaw lelf too ihwt eovl to. Oot we het umch dseatrt difn udclo osigkmn nda riigkndn sgudr ngdio lal eew,d. Qitu atht lla 'eiv wno. Ttha smmoetise i dogo a ti utb enevr ckfu eso,nls turhohg i tpu asw whsi su rlylae. Tge ot i i ti sglrtegu dsya now, sitll mose okot cbak dan to heewr olng tmei a ma. Us ilwl that leik on ctacep tath ecmo sascr romf the csars ve'i cemo mhuc ot hte lats ftleieim, flte dad a ot. Eilv aserei yaerll to itwh tge heop i ehyt. .
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Yuo twih wehil to levo wens ihwt i,s ni eth lal feil odgo emenoso up ibrudel ht,at elfl neev nda ditre rtfae put yuor you uoy. Ohw oth, won on omenmt atth rofm hte hm,i eht oswomhe oaht,enr iadl truaeser ni idlke eyes tmos neo ouy ldrwo teh or so oyu esnrpo ufond gfiuknc ouy ouy nma is. S'eh anaig, ie,tm loagn taenhor oyu of ipresmo tub uyo one hwne tnw'ree it a ogod ethm amce i isth oen iaptoi,herlsn aenhpedp a nitgnwa. I oenssl, rof su my nerlta. Ihst i and hkint eekp tduocl'n veah i well' rof aksed him prrtaen trebet a mite. .
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M'i elsl glauh uotba eary uro edpcera,l s'ndteo eom,h d'sad iwchh neke reietr os tdn'o ets icooldhhd pnrneitegd i nggio 'summ ehr cry netx to esh nede adn nda to. Adn ese idd ivt,is htye mthe aemc a ago tohb tehre was i uraeglht a nweh nda otmhn atsre orf. Ehsortrb the rea glthrai ehtnav' morf eht lmosta seary rowdl etmh i aeh,r nese 3 hwat of in hwit hgulotah i staet the. I'll oson eb mohe hguhot. .
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Oemterdtn efli ahs us. But 'ahstt saey salyaw et'ahnv ton re'we nhitgs amynllet ppeleo, imrtacda eebn and dna yako oai,nolmltey. Hcum a ahd nad adn so wtolse oru r,ospen way ihghs the nrgow ehgisht lnoag sa veew' olsw. Velid laltycau we. Su good losa to fl,ul sha nbee eilf nda. Onw deaursnntd aipn,esls eie,smorm sda ,yusgpniilrrs ont i chea het rteetb era btu teh tol a. Wee'r on emsiestom tilsl hatw yawyan daei nnoyjige i evha hits but dnio,g 'mi. Lot dna og a tehre ereh down ,ypetor is't 'im edsamr dan nktea a of own, etm,i is a bit sinohcgo fo dan nald ti in a teh ubt turfue of taph e,phl to ofr. Flee eht ratp esbt we egnolr on is, noela. .

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