An unsent letter

Dear EB, We were best friends, and I'm not sure what happened. I'm angry and upset and really, really relieved. You used to treat me like a best friend, but then I became a backup, someone who you only talked to when no one else was there. And it took me way too long to realize that that's what I was to you. You used my family for meals and activities, called them your family when you only really wanted something from us. They all loved you, and I don't think you realized when you abandoned me you abandoned 15 others. You refused to post for me for my Bat Mitzvah, maybe because you were embarrassed by me. I posted one for you anyway a week later, and I'm not exactly sure why since you are so awful to me. You and IL would constantly leave me out of things, and after talking to both of you separately about it, nothing changed. You became boy and phone and Instagram obsessed and only talked about those things. I didn't really want to talk about that, and instead of trying to find something else to talk about, you found someone else to talk to. You would hang out with DC, and when I asked to hang out with you, you'd lie about where you were. Whenever you had trouble with her though, you'd call me. When you guys temporarily stopped being friends, our group went back to what it had been. Me, you, IL and IB were the perfect group. When I was with you guys, I was so happy. We were all happy. We bought each other gifts, texted, and you all supported me after my BB died. But then you became friends with DC again. And then EB and DS and DZ and then MG. And you left. So did IL. You guys stayed friends. And for some reason, you stayed friends with IB, but I was so repulsing to you that you couldn't even look at me in the hallways or say hi in the morning. So you stopped talking to me. And it hurt. Really, really, bad. It affected my year, my life. I was really depressed all the time. When I saw you, I felt like crying and strangling you. Every day I thought, "Maybe she'll come back to me". IB and I drifted apart too. I was left without any best friends. Not one. And it sucked. One day I saw you while I was in White Plains, and you ran from me, which made me feel so awful about myself. Now, I would see you in the halls and think, "She's never coming back to me, because she is mean. I was kind and she is mean". And now when I think about not being friends with you, and I read this, I remember how you doing all this awful stuff to me is why the end of our friendship is not my fault. And why it was really good for me. Because you pushed me to the ground while you flew. Now though, I'm going to soar.