A letter from Jul 23, 2023

Hi! I hope a year from now you'll be okay :) but, I know you will be. You are strong..you are so strong... I'd never thought we'd be able to survive our heartbreak from 3 years ago, but we did! And now we are experiencing it again. But, it is different now. It doesn't hurt as much as it hurt the first time. I didn't cry as much as I did. Though now I learned to take it all out through liquor haha. Age can really change us. He is a good man. I loved him, genuinely. I guess why it does not hurt as much is because I know deep down he did the right thing. I understand him. I know he loved me too. He was the best thing that's ever happened to me. For a short time, I was happy, he made me happy. I am SO glad our paths crossed. I learned so much from him, his culture, his religion. He made me so happy for a short amount of time...I was genuinely happy...so happy. He is my TOTGA, funny thing is, I already told him about this. He told me his family is expecting him to get married soon with an Hindu girl...I knew that moment whatever we had would not last. I knew it wouldn't work out. But, you know it is a human's nature to expect a little, or sometimes too much and I did..I expected a little too much. I thought that you know maybe because we are in a different generation now that interracial dating is accepted. I have seen many love stories of interracial dating, and most worked out and they even have their own families now. I lowkey expected I would be one of them. To my TOTGA, a year from now, I know you are already married or has kids. Congratulations! I am happy for you, really. All I want for you is genuine happiness. I hope you are with someone you genuinely love. I want you to be happy. For a short time we were together I know you are a good man, a good son, a good friend, and a good person. I will always remember you. You will always have a special place in my heart, my life. I badly wanted us to work, but between you and me, we both know our different worlds will never work. I am so SO glad I met you. Till we meet again, love. And to myself, I wish you genuine happiness and healing. Please don't give up on love. You deserve the world, so much more. I don't expect you to be with someone a year from now, I don't expect you to be in a relationship NOR be married. I only expect you to be happy, genuinely. You have so much love to give and deserve to receive the same love you've been giving, or even much more. I love you, even on days you feel like you don't deserve it, I love you even more. Here's to multiple day one's and let's try again. Celebrating our little steps everyday.