A letter from Nov 04, 2023

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, Sometimes things just work out like that. You get a reminder that it's been a year since you subscribed to futureme and realize you suddenly had a lot to say. Life is hard. Hikari isn't doing well, at 15 years old and no health problems you would think the cat would live forever, but suddenly she started dropping massive weight and she goes from slightly chunky and arthritic to nearly just skin and bones and it hurts your heart so badly. The vet says it's not serious, we can fix this, she still has a lot of life left. But still, I find myself crying regularly because I can't tell if she's alive for me or because she still wants to be living. I'm scared that I'll make the wrong choice, she shouldn't suffer because I don't want to say goodbye, but is it wrong of me to want her to go when she's healthier? Or at least not at the weight she is? I guess you don't really get to choose how you or your family goes, but she had been dieting for awhile now to help with the arthritis and she was always so food motivated that when it was time I always envisioned her getting to eat just about anything she would want, no one should have to die hungry and I was always worried she was afraid she wasn't going to get food one day so she ate whatever she could. Now, no matter what you offer her she barely touches it. She's still recovering from surgery, so maybe this is just the bad time before it gets better, I don't know. Anyway, one year ago you wanted to remind yourself that you did the best you could. I always told her she had to make it until I finished my PhD and she did just that, I hope I can return the favor to her. She's a good bad spoon. I know it's going to hurt when she does go, but I want her to be comfortable when it happens. Was it? Did we do the right thing? I could use a little guidance future me, please tell me I did the right things! A very scared past you.

Epilogue

5 days later

Dear PastMe,

I knew this was coming eventually, but it still hurt to read it and I knew I would cry when I saw the notification. It's only been a...

And the egifenl trmotne berrmmee i liivdvy woret i tub i ilslt reaf iths aws ra,ey sa. Tgriwin i enmmto i were yuo oyu htis guh oulcd wshi in eht os.
.
Dba ,is het su on ys,ald nsopo thiw gorenl. Taht yas or iowrsnab dwlro or lulf het dan 'tsi fo yaok i ,treebt atht nwo't si ile ue'oyr. Tqiue she,ou uhtrt si the het ist' oot auonrd tuiqe. T'nwo lduo who aws hatt nad eizaerl eogn tsju ilntaresypo ehmo intul yuo the esh's umhc a glar,e she dlfeli. .
.
Spsa uyo ortew htis a teerh wyaa ear lwil eada,h dba she tnmoh asyd amlost eaftr. Adn htat ihlwe eevn i,egwht hse etsa eefd erh edef edos and olse uyo esh nkhti oyu nlouc'dt uenhog erh esh lioysspb when. Bitzesail lal nad eovr eno to eydats rofebe 'sti siorgnproes yuo ,her sit' abd cn'ta slow a stla ady. Ensw adb utb lal otn ts'i. Dysa llayatcu dgoo y!das gdiyn tgfero doo,g oyu so 'hses tehre rae. Is ot hwree ppayh egt rhe uyo mnoarl ghftis and orme seh yuo sayd seh dna ehrwe slfe teas liek tpe edlcudd ehr nda days. Ithgr did wkno ilwl eb dna stheo htat wlli sady kabc ti nihtg on taht yuo uoy eht ookl.
.
Yhppa ncecha eth gte ihwt this ly'lou rneve ,atth i'm raolnmly asy i im' n'cta dare knwo whlei i okya nad ot hatt. I hrtig 'ueroy cuodl i that you dngoi hte ersusaer ghint wshi. Lqkuyci ni dn,a esapss free esh my apin npioo,ni. Lsat 'uolyl hes tsi' ntigh liwl know heav ouy reh teh the it,gnh wnhe is ea,t het ahev llwi ol'ylu ot nrtehgts ilwl berlya hes pu, ehs ohdl seehrlf wkon inkrd tsih illw not thwi ltsa ont dan. .
.
Ltel epasu yevr and eb ryuo wihs sesh' at ti atht uoy item yu'oll ot lwil yuo atc the ro tno dan erh ouy pksae neloa nad a,oky lwil cduol vloe ti eelf enbos ltesa hre. Ibt bde temi h,tne she upmj tlsa eevyr lwli one shgrnett eus tyr eth alst hse nda ash of ot on. Tsi' ffo tis' esh motnem uoy it thta to ,ongrud ntemom noswk hte ihtw htat neev oto hist gdbeoyo uoy eitm esh asy ot the illw lziraee ikcst twno' tbu ya,d amek. .
.
I'm lteter, em uoy twoer lyretu dlag shit. No serausre way oyu i hte to noly ubtao si have tath hte heav i snutitoai rrgete. Ni dame erh mrioemes fo clesl,apiey tlsa a fetmilei ouy hatt ohtmn tihw. Akesd you ihntk givne cssimncrutcae het uvld'ceo ont'd omer i ofr. Ifel i rfo a dha hwis swa erebtt nda vbleeie hes wnes hes too ot twna o,uy ubt dah vodel, i godo ekwn ahtt i. No o'ndt ahrd eb fuosyrel eplesa. No oolgnki hatt ckab lcudo nda oyu oyu lla ddi yfdeielnit ,ti oerm.
.
Urmteeuf.

This user has written an update to this letter.To see what they wrote, please

Write your own Letter to the Future!

Write new comment

Load more comments