CONFIDENTAL: A letter to MYSELF from MYSELF..

Dear FutureMe, It’s 2:03 am, June 18, 2014 when I wrote this letter..(just to remind myself)..i want to know what it will feel to read this 10 years from now..hope I am not going to feel any Goosebumps!.. Happy 38th birthday!..You are getting old already..(well, every year it happens).. If you get to read this letter, that means: 1. you’re still alive 2. you’re email address is still working 3. FutureMe.Org is really true 4. you’re still an internet addict 5. you’re still checking your email If you will not get to read this then that means: 1. someone is opening/opens your email 2. you’re already dead (hope not) How are you already? ..how’s your life?..are you still the same?..are things still the same?.. Let’s talk first about your birthday today..how is it?..is there any celebration or even surprises?..do you still celebrate it alone, pretending you don’t celebrate it or are there food and drinks and parties?..if yes, it is fun?..what are your wishes?..do some of them came true already?..or are you still wishing them until now?.. Is your mobile numbers still the same? 09099726615 and 09333655534?..or you changed numbers or added more new numbers?..are you still keeping old messages?!.. Do you still live at your parents’ house? Are you renting?a house?a condo?or do you own one now?..Where are you living now?in the Philippines or other country?..did you get to chublive in other places, especially the ones you dreamed to live on (America, hehehe)?.. I believe your height is still the same since there’s no chance you’ll grow taller..how about your weight?..did you gain more or less?..how do you look like physically?athletic?chubby?healthy?sickly?.. How are your parents?..are they still healthy?..i wish they are still alive..i can’t bear thinking losing them in the future so please, I do hope you are taking good care of them..are you supporting them?..do you take care of them?..i hope you are still patient with your father especially maybe right now he’s more grumpy than before.. How about your brother and sisters, how are they?..is your brother living happily or still in the darkness?..are they together with his wife or they separated already?i hope he’s okay..how about your sisters, are they still successful with their careers?..are they happy with their families?..do you still see each other?..how about your nephews and nieces, do all of them know you and close to you?..i do hope so..you love them I know.. Where do you work right now?..do you still have sad moments at work that make you want to quit?..have you been to a company for too long?..or are you at home (which means not “unemployed” but something else)?.. Were you able to do your bucket lists (not all of them though, I am not expecting you can do that)?..can you tell me some of them?..i would be very happy to listen to you if ever.. How are your friends?..do you gain much more now?..did you lose some?..are you still happy spending time with them?..do you still value friendship or maybe you have bad memories again?.. Did you strengthen your faith with God?..are you still a Christian?..how can you say so?..do you have seeds already?..did you share God’s words already?..are you living fully with God?..i pray you do..i pray that you still have Jesus in your heart..i pray you did not backslide or lost faith..do you still pray?..do you groan?..do you read the bible?..are you active in your church?..do you still listen to Christian music?..especially if you need guidance and peace in your life…you always listen.. How about your love life?..do you have one already?..are you still single?..why?..did you still not find the one for you?..are you married?..with whom?..i hope you are happy now, if you are married..and if not, I hope you’re still happy..how many heartbreaks did you experienced?..do you still fall inlove hard?..do you still dream of happy endings, even though you hate seeing them happen in movies?.. WELL, THE FIRST PART OF THIS LETTER IS JUST LIKE A FORMALITY..actually, I wrote them based on the informations in my resume…not because of what comes out in my mind now..so now, I will go to the second part of my letter and I hope I get to say and ask everything I want and need…here it goes..buckle up!.. Are you happy with your life, seriously?..do you still feel alone?..especially when you are in your room?..do you still get overly dramatic, like you think of bad things which will never happen or still did not happen?..do you still that bad habit?..i pray you don’t have that anymore..i get so guilty doing that all the time after I do it..anyway..how about other bad things that you do?..do you still hold grudges?..do you still not forgive easily?..do you still remember bad things done to you?..do you still get irritated?..or are you able to control your feelings already?..are you still a jealous person?..i hope you still have inspiring poster in your room (God is not mad at you, He’s mad about you!).. Do you still have glow-in-the-dark on the walls of your room?..were you able to make a constellation?.. Are you still addicted to stars?..are you still using your alias “star love falcon”?.. Do you own already a nikon camera or much better than that?..are you still a frustrated photographer?..i hope you took a photography lesson and is now a professional one..do you still take pictures of things around you?..can you show me some of the best ones? Do you own a car now?..does it have a nice sound system?.. Do you still read books and novels?..are you stiil fond of reading? Do you still make poems?do you still write your feelings? Do you still love music?..how many songs do you have now?..have you been to a concert already?.. What instruments do you know how to play? How about sports? Do you know how to swim already? What is your profession now?..still not teaching?..still have a trauma about it?.. Are you married now?..i hope that person is someone you really love and who loves you also..you deserve that..after heartbreaks and pains…you deserve to be happy..is he the one you’ve been dreaming of?..are you happy and contented already with him?..i really pray so..despite any problems in your marriage life, I hope you’re still together..do you have kids?..please raise them properly..impart Jesus in them..have a happy life forever.. If you’re married already, please don’t mind these next questions anymore..you may find them cheesy..this one is part of my life right now (as I was writing this letter) so I included it.. Are you over sunshine already?..did you forget him?..have you really move on?..did you see each other after the “unofficial closure” (if there is such thing)?..do you still love him?..somehow, I hope you’re over him..and a part of me also wants you to meet each other in the future and finish what you started..i somehow wish that a great love story will happen between the two of you…if that is possible..but somehow…you need to move on..to have a good life.. If he is really meant for you, he will find you and you will find him.. if you are meant for each other, time will find the two of you.. but if not… you deserve someone better…or the best.. you deserve a great and wonderful love story.. you deserve a good life.. be good always.. continue your faith.. love always.. be strong.. be confident.. have a happy life.. be ready to meet God in the future.. love yourself.. love your life.. love, J P.S.: i finished writing this letter at 3:10 am