Hello, FutureMe (11/26/09)

Dear FutureMe, today is thanksgiving in 2009. i am currently writing a novel, as part of Nanowrimo. it's called Pangs of Conscience (im sure futureme would not forget that, seeing as how its the first book ive written) it is wicked hard and challenging, but i am really excited to be doing it. i hope that i will get it done in time for november's end, and that it is actually a little bit good. i spent the day at Celina's house for thanksgiving. i did not eat very much this year, which is unusual for thanksgiving. New Moon came out last week, and it is incredible. i love the twilight book series. tomorrow me and sheila are going to go see it again(my fourth time since its been out) after i go for a driving lesson with uncle Tom. it is 10:40 pm, and im sitting in bed writing this. on my bedside table is my cellphone, two books (Sense & Sensibility, Jesus Interrupted), a plastic headband and a cup of water. i am chosing to send this in 2018. i will be twenty six! oh my god i can not even picture being that old. currently, i do not believe in god. or, well, i should say that i do not prescribe to any organized religion. i feel like there could be a God out there, i mean, who am I to decide whether or not a higher being exists, when i know literally nothing about anything outside of this world. but still, in my head i cant really rationalize worshiping something that you dont know is there, and that you cant find solid proof of. maybe you believe in God now, FutureMe. did you have a divine intervention? that would be wicked cool. i think that (all gloating aside) i actually am a very intelligent person for my age. i feel like i have a wide grasp on society and people and life. everything seems clear to me, courses of action seem simple. maybe its just naivety, but i would like to think that im just smart. my friends sometimes say that im psychic. there are times when i, too, scare myself with how accurate my thoughts or predictions are. i think, though, that its just because i can guess what people will do or say easily. human nature is not that complex if you really think about it. its easy to manipulate too, which is why i get my way a lot of the time ;). no, im not a bad person, though. like i said, i just think im perceptive. right now, i dont really know what i want to do with my future, but im thinking of being an english major at college. i would really like to go to college in Alaska, or Washington (not DC) maybe. i would really like that. i want distance. i dont really think that i would get homesick, or if i did, i would probably be able to deal with it. my situation at home, right now, is less than satisfactory for me. to be completely honest, i hope i have a well paying job and a steady boyfriend by this point, FutureMe! if not, you better get working on that! i feel like my seventeen year old self could offer you some wisdom on life. maybe youth harbors insight. -no matter what course your life is on, dont quit! i know we have a tendency to drop out of things and not follow through on plans. just because something is difficult, doesnt mean its not worth doing. seriously, i swear to god if you cancel those plans you made last week, just because you dont feel like going out, i will bring myself to the future and kick your ass! -even though it sounds horrible, go for the choices that will bring you more money, not what you are more passionate about. yeah, i know, i know, its supposed to be the other way around. but, come on, i know you better than you know you, and you want the money more. money cant buy happiness? i beg to differ. now, im not saying be a scrooge or anything, just dont end up in a tiny apartment barely scraping by with the bills... i wont let that happen to you. we deserve better. -stop being so scared of taking risks. you never let yourself live outside the lines, always too afraid of what people think of you. its important to maintain a good public image, but every once in a while do something thats good for you, not good for others. ill use the comparison of pusinh people to get through a crowd at a concert. you have to put aside other's feelings for a few minutes, and become a ruthless battering ram, otherwise, you'll end up standing in the back, unable to see the stage. - do you have a job at a publishing company? it would be sooo cool if you did. that is pretty much my dream job. me and Jessie Scheff joke about opening up our own publishing company, and i kind of really wish that i could actually do this. too bad the future of paper printed books is indefinite, what with the hand held electronic book readers coming out. i hope that you still have the same email adress nine years from now, otherwise this is a complete waste of time. i also hope you still read a lot of books, play the guitar, and draw. my favorite thing right now is charcoal drawing. if you dont still do it, go buy a pack of charcoal sticks and charcoal paper and unwind. you'll be glad you did. Goodbye, Kelsey. i really truly hope that you have lived up to my expectations. they're somewhat unrealistic ones, but i feel as if we are capable of anything. i believe in you. you can change the world, or you can just change yourself. -You. november, 26th 2009 (seventeen years old)