A letter from April 26th, 2018

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, HAPPY 30th birthday! I really hope that you are happy today. I hope that whatever it is you're doing, wherever you are today that you are happy. I can't believe we're 30! Wow! Aging is so weird isn't it? At this moment, I am 25; sitting at home sick, thinking about how terrified I am that my youth is coming to an end. The thing is, I have no idea what to do with our life. I don't know if I want to get into marketing, but that's where I'm at right now. I miss writing, but it seems that I do everything these days but write. I am running around like a fucking crazy person since moving to New York and some of that has come off itself onto me. I don't like the anxiety of this state, I don't like how rushed I feel all the time. I feel like there isn't enough time in the day to think all the things I want to think, read all the things I want to read, and do all the things I want to do- does that get better wherever you are? Are you happier now? Did we find what we loved? If we didn't- I hope that we are at least happy. 30 is a big number, try not to be afraid of it. We are 30, flirty and thriving! Hopefully.. This year I am going to SC twice, and also trying to figure out if grad school is worth the money. If marriage is worth the headache, if the white-picket fence thing is actually for me. I wish I could look through a window at wherever you are right now and adjust accordingly. Did you get married?! Where!? Did you have any regrets? Did you ever make it back to California? Where else in the world have you gone? So many questions! But I'm sure you have answered them all already. I love you so much, I love us, and I love this experience on earth. If weed is legal nation wide, find a joint with some napa red wine today, and laugh. Laugh, dance, cry, celebrate. Happy 30th

Epilogue

about 22 hours later

Why Hello there 25 year old self. My goodness, what a journey we’ve already had and will continue on.

Yes, things will...

Lswo. .
Ritgnakme llouy’ inucetno ,esy - in lewl od and. .
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To ddi olfinciraa it ackb you ?ahwt ussge emka. Elactyx but caaifnliro tlli’ twah otn oyu be mind - iemt hsti ni dah nthrnore. Nsa uyo ot crnsoafic urfyosel mevo. .
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Esy h,aah. Nowk i. .
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Era ctsa in htelha jnio yse oyu! and hte trgea. .
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Be dgoo drah mdni teh ynusn oyur ltl’i ni you ofr an’wst - osul remad eb whlie oto - it craafinloi but had lilt’. Fo eifl teh ouyr ’sit ibnnngige romja tinoaaanroftmrsl of trpaech a. Mnid u,oy adn eceyploltm thta ncgaeh teh wlil ubt ni - kwen daronu hiyergnvet erba uyo rwdlo. .
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Utb eursviv you’ll. Nda mecboe egrontrs ti of eacbeus. .
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Rmoe oogd snwe. Aitonanl uroy ilcaerg idmrera pakr uoy - to od tsomuael teg ni. Ubt ld,iaeh of uroy eifl nds,eow eroupd asw het adn - septpaih dya it nrai ti. .
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Guothh it awya lal ievg t’nca i. Nad ubt veo,l n’reta twhini mfro sgdeinir ttha npoers adn rpnsoe trael reou’y iwll eth peaicatepr be eth lyo’lu pe,trecs so p,etfrec - ou’lyl umch aresy. Rwroy cumh oto nda kabc uyo oyenj cn’ta sbace-ue oryu iwtesten go n’dot to ryt. .

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