A letter from April 26th, 2018

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, HAPPY 30th birthday! I really hope that you are happy today. I hope that whatever it is you're doing, wherever you are today that you are happy. I can't believe we're 30! Wow! Aging is so weird isn't it? At this moment, I am 25; sitting at home sick, thinking about how terrified I am that my youth is coming to an end. The thing is, I have no idea what to do with our life. I don't know if I want to get into marketing, but that's where I'm at right now. I miss writing, but it seems that I do everything these days but write. I am running around like a fucking crazy person since moving to New York and some of that has come off itself onto me. I don't like the anxiety of this state, I don't like how rushed I feel all the time. I feel like there isn't enough time in the day to think all the things I want to think, read all the things I want to read, and do all the things I want to do- does that get better wherever you are? Are you happier now? Did we find what we loved? If we didn't- I hope that we are at least happy. 30 is a big number, try not to be afraid of it. We are 30, flirty and thriving! Hopefully.. This year I am going to SC twice, and also trying to figure out if grad school is worth the money. If marriage is worth the headache, if the white-picket fence thing is actually for me. I wish I could look through a window at wherever you are right now and adjust accordingly. Did you get married?! Where!? Did you have any regrets? Did you ever make it back to California? Where else in the world have you gone? So many questions! But I'm sure you have answered them all already. I love you so much, I love us, and I love this experience on earth. If weed is legal nation wide, find a joint with some napa red wine today, and laugh. Laugh, dance, cry, celebrate. Happy 30th

Epilogue

about 22 hours later

Why Hello there 25 year old self. My goodness, what a journey we’ve already had and will continue on.

Yes, things will...

Wols. .
Meitnarkg esy, onutncie well - ully’o do and ni. .
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W?hta you kaem to ddi sseug ti lafinoacir bcak. Etrnhorn awth ouy - rfcialanio ndmi otn in had hist lti’l tlacyex etim tub be. Ot uoy ircacnofs nsa lyefruos veom. .
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Ah,ah yes. Nwko i. .
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Jion !oyu nda satc era yse gtrea eht ehhlta in. .
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It yoru - teh wn’sta l’ilt tub nsnyu iltl’ ahdr good eb too orf - adh aciorlanfi osul in eb ehwli nidm meadr you. Mlnrairsofatotan of morja ruyo s’it ngnniibge ielf hte of a phetacr. But kwen opeemtclly nhegac mdni y,ou ni adn oldwr hte wlli - uoy rabe adornu hyigertenv htat. .
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Btu vrievus u’yllo. Omeceb ti dna of acesebu rntsreog. .
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Doog mroe swen. Do ouy - to ntlioaan dmirear smoleatu prka ruoy lireagc in get. Lfei was of ti eht tbu - nwsod,e it dya nari rpodeu lhead,i pastpeih oruy nda. .
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It lla i aywa gthhuo igve ’tnca. Humc nda luyol’ v,elo wlil ralet gsernidi btu from ’eartn eht teh so l’ulyo ersay rpnose - ihinwt youe’r eb aeratpipce dan s,ertcep taht esrnop eptrc,ef. Uoy weinttse rty uhmc atnc’ to ckba go besa-ceu nda rouy ’dnot rorwy ojeny oot. .

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