A letter from Oct 2nd, 2021

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, I am so proud of you at how far you have come in the last 10 years. From where you were at the age of 20. Having a baby, in an unhealthy relationship that was abusive, to unable to finish school because your priorities weren’t straight like you thought. To a lot of partying and living. You made a lot of great memories but hid a lot of pain. Right before turning 30 you wanted a healthier version of you. You took your mental health serious and put in work for yourself. Continuous therapy, dealing with your depression/anxiety, letting go of friendships & relationships that are not serving you. Creating an atmosphere that is healthy for you and your babies. Being more present for your babies. For your 30’s you have set the Intentions of peace, love, and happiness. To be a better version of yourself. You have left a relationship, which has been painful, but to make the Intensions you set for yourself to be true. You have realized life is too short to be Unhappy. & all through your 20’s you were Unhappy. The best version and happiest version of yourself will reflect in your boys. They too will be the best versions of themselves. I hope you have kept your goals in vision and keep knocking each one off of your list. Because you are capable of anything you set your mind too. You are strong, resilient, admirable, a leader, a loving mother, and a wonderful friend. Hold on to the people who fill up your cup when needed and don’t forget to keep filling theirs up as well. 💜 Love always, Me. You have grown so much from 20 until 30. Keep growing & glowing!

Epilogue

over 3 years later

Dear Me,

I need you to pause for a moment and really take in how far you’ve come because I know you don’t give yourself enough credit.

Life didn’t get...

Udwol enco leik odpeh it ersiae clmlyaiag uyo. Mayn in ti yasw, ft,ca otg heaervi ni. Os,nfconui itoaonmel ieghtw and stmo uatob htta hte ppeoel tond’ dlou esakctb,s uot dnik ha,ebatkerr dacierr vuoe’y aktl of. Ety ltisl hree and rae yuo. Slitl rtigny. Nhew even rutsh ertbet, it onhgsoic sitll.
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Uoy tihs oaternh het are,ys iton in uaetlbufi spta iefv lodwr lefi buhgtor. Are mrteho of wno hrtee a oyu. Olok atfsye, aumsnh o,elv nda tleilt hetre how you ceuagidn rfo to. Gvinig dipsete ya,sd than fele ehtm rae alziree ouy esom mero yuo hwo you.
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You leidnricbe sitmohegn did - uyo ateadrugd. 2,520 awht sosiblimep cnoe you disenhif felt ni. Go?a to seh vergeithyn ni oyu adh lduwo fo of eb who uoy psto own rasye htat aew oeivnsr.
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Uryo pdlleu to ouy dan ash in ahtt sah a neeb bcak elaev sdeett iocech tohugh pe,deyl oftrh het aaign ouy eevn ileotpsaihrn ethra nad adem. A atht sat’wn eekswans. Shgettrn hatt a swa. Rowght atht aws. Lfet eatinrnuc ocnghsoi whne that swa orfy,seul rgyrfnieti it evne dna uoy.
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Oyu eefl ritgh onw nkow ltos i.
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Eefl ilke bste oknw up oruy uelyrfos hte as of i and delsoita, renisvo you yeva,h rfo not winhgos idks ouyre’. Apphy, dan pu i jstu efle oyu wkea refe vh-ngoriet helo,w uoy owkn gielhan that swih udocl peahnp loucd dan.
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Siht who ahtts’ otn roswk tub. Aglfini aenm htat en’osdt adn uery’o.
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Eon uoy rqseua at ckab not ear.
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Mnesooe yuo ear onw how sha tolos. Nesresawa. Xcneeperie. Runaebisdo. Dco, ieenrgzco ynidbll nieyt,xa hitgr erdseonp,si nigaa yrou uryo otn htem gnibe uold ranyeo,m your ryou utpy—sdo if htey yb efel onleortcdl now uyo era vnee.
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Airtsght ahegnil si not a neli. Mysse ’its. Olspo it. It esausp. Ti ersttrsa. Nuoden iekl ubt oevu’y ti ’vntahe yuo seemmotis iyge,nhrtve and flese.
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Atht rae tabuo mnwao oenc yuo tills trwoe you sirteienl grto,ns.
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Eorm ’yeour now nhta ,ultcylaa ttah.
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Flla lstil nwo abeuecs lseef twah and tapra epke it gigno leki ot oyu wokn.
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A fmro irvvsaul hrut,t are gierldiubn fo ont laecp iefl uoy ruyo.
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Alwleod oyur era ot eakt uyo imte.
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To oyu sad hfloeup smae nda at eht llwdeoa fele era emit.
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Lwloead ton lla ifregud eyt ouy ear to otu ti vahe.
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Ttersam is hts:i hawt.
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Irygnt are you.
Uyo hoogcsni are tetebr.
Lltsi aer you ereh.
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Is adn to eb htta of isohtgenm udopr.
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’ondt fo oury ende a soenvir fcrpeet dsik yuo.
Nede a rela one they.
Oen a nieglha.
Neo orwiggn a.
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Is ttah xclteay and rae ohw uoy.
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Epek ioggn.
Hte dyas on enve qteui.
Ahvey dasy eht vnee on.
Leef rogressp ikangm when ’yreou vnee otn uyo liek.
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Are yuo ebueacs.
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Ospnsmcaoi ,yad the oen eefl eon—rvda uhcm visenor eorfsluy and of et-h lwil ,nkwunno sith lkoo tgsriatn in os uyo ilwl noe oyu gtiitns kbca edpri ta.
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Era ont ouy tlso.
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Fo eht in diledm ieonbcgm rae uoy.
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Tihw levo,.
Me 💜.

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