A letter from Oct 2nd, 2021

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, I am so proud of you at how far you have come in the last 10 years. From where you were at the age of 20. Having a baby, in an unhealthy relationship that was abusive, to unable to finish school because your priorities weren’t straight like you thought. To a lot of partying and living. You made a lot of great memories but hid a lot of pain. Right before turning 30 you wanted a healthier version of you. You took your mental health serious and put in work for yourself. Continuous therapy, dealing with your depression/anxiety, letting go of friendships & relationships that are not serving you. Creating an atmosphere that is healthy for you and your babies. Being more present for your babies. For your 30’s you have set the Intentions of peace, love, and happiness. To be a better version of yourself. You have left a relationship, which has been painful, but to make the Intensions you set for yourself to be true. You have realized life is too short to be Unhappy. & all through your 20’s you were Unhappy. The best version and happiest version of yourself will reflect in your boys. They too will be the best versions of themselves. I hope you have kept your goals in vision and keep knocking each one off of your list. Because you are capable of anything you set your mind too. You are strong, resilient, admirable, a leader, a loving mother, and a wonderful friend. Hold on to the people who fill up your cup when needed and don’t forget to keep filling theirs up as well. 💜 Love always, Me. You have grown so much from 20 until 30. Keep growing & glowing!

Epilogue

over 3 years later

Dear Me,

I need you to pause for a moment and really take in how far you’ve come because I know you don’t give yourself enough credit.

Life didn’t get...

Oenc oyu it wuldo keli pdeoh cymgailla iersae. ,ywsa tgo hvaiere ni in ynam it fat,c. Nufo,csoin pploee and uboat idnk abecst,ks y’evou ra,eahrtbke ihetwg tkla tath of deircra doul ostm nlotoimea hte otu no’dt. Ety rae uyo lltsi reeh nad. Ilstl yrigtn. Tusrh b,reett ti chsoongi veen when itlls.
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Ievf in efil ,seayr beliauftu gorhbtu atsp onit aerthno oyu het thsi ldwor. Rea rhete a nwo you rtmohe fo. Nda ohw ouy ole,v ot ofr tlietl three unmash sey,tfa kolo gneiuacd. Eepsidt anht uyo woh you mthe gginvi erom are sday, zarliee oems yuo efle.
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Ouy ehtngoims einbderlic ddi uoy - argtedadu. 0,225 you dfhniise ilimpsbeos etlf ecno in awht. Eb of ?oag she uoy ni woh wudol you yneithgevr of to tosp osenvri own had eyasr wae ttha.
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Sah uryo the uyo uoy hiceco taht ash ot ackb eevn ey,pdle a ulldep ni dna huhgot bene maed ngaai prliatsnohie eettsd dna htear evlea thofr. A eekswans answ’t ttah. Wsa a stenrtgh htta. Swa wghrot htta. Aws figtiryren enwh rcaninute gnioscho vene fuors,ely ti felt ttha oyu dna.
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Knwo feel i onw ltso uyo thirg.
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Disk ouyr noviesr erlyofsu efel the for as etbs i ,asetodli av,ehy e’uyro ont and pu of klie oyu nwok osignhw. Pphean ayph,p htat and you lw,hoe uocld up eghalni olcdu i ujts h-ertovign uoy wkae efel dna refe konw hiws.
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Tihs ton kwrso at’sth ubt how. Eyoru’ es’dtno amne ahtt nad inaigfl.
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Ear kbac yuo at sreauq tno neo.
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Oltso era oyu hsa noomees wno ohw. Seenrawas. Iecnrepeex. Rousbdnaei. Tmeh feel rae rthig by opus—dty hety do,c snseei,prod yuro oruy fi aangi ay,inxte won olocetnlrd vene engzcoier tno uryo dulo you gebni oruy dilynbl ,ynomera.
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Lnie si ehaginl itarshtg a otn. ’its esysm. Psolo it. Uessap ti. Rstarest ti. Nda n,rtgeviyeh tbu nenudo euoyv’ imsmestoe tva’enh ilke you sfele ti.
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Hatt o,grtsn noce tnslrieei awonm isltl ear oautb erotw ouy you.
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Ttha uy,laaltc euyo’r mroe wno ntah.
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Onw prata ouy oingg lseef it flal epke nad thaw okwn to llist useebac elki.
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Pcale not dbrlneiuig frmo flei yuro fo ouy raviuvsl ,hturt aer a.
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Yuor to uyo kate emit odelawl are.
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You feel mase uhpfoel and mtei ldeawlo ot das teh aer at.
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Yuo ear evha ti ldwoela uto tno ety iergduf lal ot.
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Arsmtet twah si ht:is.
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Iyrgnt uyo rae.
Onigcosh are yuo etrtbe.
Tlils rhee era uyo.
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Ghtmesnio dna fo si ahtt be to rdupo.
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You eden tfcpere fo tnod’ ksdi irnoesv oryu a.
Rale etyh neo deen a.
Hgniael eno a.
A oen iorgngw.
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Dan how aer elycxta hatt you si.
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Gigno ekep.
Sday teh neve on uetqi.
Aysd yaveh on teh even.
Klei groerpss eoy’ur iakmgn neve when oyu otn feel.
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Are escueab you.
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Eht- at ouy devonr—a kw,nonnu nspsooamic so htsi ni yad, fo gnrtatsi niigtts bcka dna eth mhcu eelf lrsyuefo srevoni lliw neo oyu llwi eno ipder look.
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Tsol otn ear you.
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Ni the of bgceoimn rea ouy idmeld.
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Iwht ,elov.
💜 em.

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